蓝色部分为教师批注
标黄部分为本文关键词
教师高分习作
☟☟☟
The bars illustrate the amounts of bananas exported from three regions in two separate years (1993 and 2003), and the pie shows the composition of price of bananas in the year of 2003.宏观描述图表的overview可以在开头段落就写,写的时候应该非常简洁:Overall, Latin America, in both years, was a significantly larger exporter than the other two regions, and, the components of 2003’s price of bananas hadmarkedly different shares.
The year of 1993 witnessed a stark contrast. As Latin American exported amassive amount of 5 million tons to the world, Africa and East Asia exported merely 0.5 million and 1 million tons respectively. 先写1993年(同一个时间内,三个地区之间有比较),再写2003年(不但三个地区之间有比较,年份之间就也顺理成章被比较了) The contrast was even more remarkable in the year of 2003, when the export grew to more than 10 million tons in Latin America and remained below the level of 2 million tons in the other two regions.词汇方面,注意表达程度的形容词。
Obviously, distribution and retail, accounting for 35 percent, was the major part of 2003’s price, “两极比较”是典型写法 and this percentage contrasted sharply with the 4 percent that producers made and the 5 percent exportation cost. Other factors,in descending order, were the profit, tax, export licence, and international transportation, and had respective shares within a moderate range of 10 percent to 18 percent.